Dear Creation, Sincerely Creator
by tears over beers
Summary: You really thought you could tell me what to do? You really think you could demand changes? I feel you're forgetting who the writer is here; I can make you do whatever I feel like, witch or not. Spin-off/side-along fic to Dearest J.
1. Wotcher, Tonks

Disclaimer: Don't own, never have, never will.

A/N: This story is a spin-off/side project to my story 'Dearest J". This story would probably make more sense if you read at least the corresponding chapter to that one first. Enjoy!

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><p><em>*This letter from is a response to Tonks in the chapter "Dear Jo, Much love Tonks"*<em>

**Wotcher, Tonks.**

(Yes, I am using your catchphrase. You know why? I'm the author. I created you. I can do whatever I like)

Firstly, I will say that I most certainly _do not _hate you. Where did you get that idea? I gave you what every fangirl could have ever wanted- a free pass at _two _Marauders!

I understand your concerns and I will admit I may have given you a hard time. At the same time, consider the fact that I also made Ron extremely insecure, giving him a hard time, killed everyone Harry had ever loved, had Snape pine for years, made Charlie the 'forgotten Weasley'...

All in all, you are not the only person to have a hard time.

About the name, it _does _have a meaning. Did you ever consider that?

Everything I wrote, I can assure you, I did for a reason; everything always happens for a reason, in my books at least.

I noticed in your letter you were rather sharp with me. I also noticed that you seemed to be the first person to get my address (there _was _a reason I put you in Hufflepuff, you know) and the repeated threats I have received from yourself and certain family members. Considering this, I have come up with a rather interesting game.

Either you stop owling me such things or I will recall the fifth, sixth and seventh books. I will then replace every single time I have previously written the words "Remus" and/or "Lupin" in connection with you to the words "Severus" and/or "Snape".

Not only will your new husband be desperately in love with another, it will mean, if you haven't already guessed, every single thing that happened between you and Remus will be between you and Severus.

_Every single thing._

_Whether it was mentioned explicitly within the books or not._

I'm sure you have changed your mind by now.

**Sending 'much love' back,**

**Jo xx.**

...

**Joanne,**

DON'T. YOU. DARE.

Okay, fine, kill me, kill my family, kill Remus, have Bellatrix dance on my grave for all I care!

Just not Snape.

Please. I mean... c'mon... that's mean...

_Shagging Snape?_

I would have to gouge my fucking eyes out!

You really do have an evil mind, don't you?

...I'll be good.

**Feeling quite revolted,**

**Tonks.**


	2. Hello Cedric!

A/N: This story is a spin-off/side project to my story 'Dearest J". This story would probably make more sense if you read at least the corresponding chapter to that one first. Enjoy!

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><p><em>*This chapter from is a response to Cedric in the chapter 'Dear J.K, yours sincerely Cedric 'The Spare' Diggory*<em>

**Hello, Cedric!**

Firstly, I'm guessing I should apologise about the sparkling situation. If I had known what would happen, well... let's just say things may have been different. Unfortunately, a Seer I am not, so I did not see this coming.

And please, cut the whole 'spare' thing. Voldemort said it, not me. Just let it go and stop feeling so sorry for yourself! Honestly, what is it with you Hufflepuff's and feeling sorry for yourselves?

I understand now that you do not like the new life you have been given, thrilling plot point though it was. As your letter was worded a little more... politely than others I have received, I will cut you a deal.

I will give you a whole day with Cho and make sure this new girl stays ignorant _but_...

-And I mean this-

_If you send me one more letter or complain even one more time then you can just forget that you were ever 'handsome'. Or that you ever dated her in the first place._

I have the power, Cedric. THE POWER OF WRITING.

Do we have a deal?

**Yours sincerely,**

**J.K xx**

**...**

**J.K,**

_DEAL!_

No more letters from this sparkly boy!

_((Please don't make me ugly. I couldn't bare it))_

**Yours sincerely,**

**Cedric.**

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><p>AN: _Guess who got midnight premier tickets? *excited face*_


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